Rainbow Glossary
Welcome to the Rainbow Directory’s LGBTQIA+ Glossary—your trusted guide to understanding the rich spectrum of sexual orientations, gender identities, cultural terms, and inclusive language used across Aotearoa New Zealand and the world. Whether you’re part of the Rainbow community or an ally seeking to learn, this glossary provides clear, respectful definitions of commonly used terms as well as culturally specific identities such as Takatāpui, Fa’afafine, MVPFAFF and Akava’ine.
Each entry is designed to promote empathy, reduce stigma, and support everyone on their journey toward authenticity, visibility, and acceptance. We encourage you to explore these terms with an open mind and heart—because knowing the language of identity is a powerful step toward creating a more inclusive, respectful society for all.
Table of Contents
MVPFAFF
Definition:
MVPFAFF is an acronym that stands for Mahu, Vakasalewalewa, Palopa, Fa’afafine, Akava’ine, Fakaleiti, and Fakafifine—terms used across the Pacific to describe Indigenous gender-diverse identities and expressions. It is a unifying abbreviation that recognises the rich cultural history and significance of gender diversity within Pasifika communities.
Cultural Origins:
Each letter in MVPFAFF represents a unique identity embedded in its respective Pacific Island culture:
- Mahu – Found in Hawai‘i and Tahiti, Mahu are traditionally seen as people who embody both masculine and feminine traits. They often hold respected roles as teachers, healers, and cultural custodians.
- Vakasalewalewa – A Fijian identity describing people assigned male at birth who express themselves with feminine qualities. This identity exists within traditional Fijian understandings of gender diversity.
- Palopa – A term used in Papua New Guinea to describe gender-diverse people, especially those assigned male who live as women or express femininity. It is often used in urban settings and within LGBTQIA+ community spaces.
- Fa’afafine – In Samoa, Fa’afafine literally means “in the manner of a woman” and refers to people assigned male at birth who express a feminine gender identity. Fa’afafine are an accepted and visible part of Samoan society.
- Akava’ine – A Cook Islands Māori term for individuals assigned male at birth who identify and express themselves in feminine ways. Akava’ine may play important roles in family, faith, and cultural life.
- Fakaleiti (or Leiti) – In Tonga, Fakaleiti (meaning “like a lady”) refers to people assigned male at birth who express a feminine gender identity. They are often deeply involved in community service and church life.
- Fakafifine – A Niuean term referring to gender-diverse people assigned male at birth who identify with or express femininity.
Purpose and Usage:
The acronym MVPFAFF is used increasingly in Aotearoa New Zealand to describe and affirm the presence of Pasifika gender-diverse communities. It recognises the distinctiveness of each identity while uniting them under a shared banner of cultural gender diversity.
While Western terms such as “transgender” and “non-binary” may sometimes be applied, MVPFAFF acknowledges that these Pasifika identities are not simply local versions of Western categories—they are culturally embedded, historically rooted, and spiritually significant.
Other related terms—such as Rae Rae (used in Tahiti for more modern expressions of gender diversity) and Fafafine (a spelling variation of Fa’afafine used in some contexts)—also reflect the wide spectrum of Pasifika identities.
Respect and Language:
When referring to MVPFAFF individuals, it is essential to:
- Use culturally appropriate terms specific to each island nation.
- Avoid collapsing these identities into Western frameworks unless the individual self-identifies that way.
- Recognise the spiritual, familial, and community roles often held by MVPFAFF people in their cultures.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, MVPFAFF individuals have become increasingly visible and active in both Pasifika and LGBTQIA+ advocacy, arts, and public health. They contribute unique perspectives at the intersection of cultural tradition, migration, and gender diversity. Respecting MVPFAFF identities affirms the rich diversity within the Rainbow and Pacific communities and honours the role of Indigenous knowledge in conversations about gender and sexuality.
Akava’ine
Definition:
Akava’ine is a Cook Islands Māori term used to describe transgender women of Cook Islands descent. The word itself translates to “in the manner of a woman” and reflects a culturally specific identity that falls under the broader LGBTQIA+ spectrum.
Cultural Significance:
In the Cook Islands, gender and sexuality are interpreted through unique cultural lenses. Akava’ine are not simply a Western understanding of transgender women—they are individuals whose gender identity and social roles may differ from their sex assigned at birth, often blending traditional femininity with aspects of Polynesian culture. Akava’ine may identify as women or express feminine traits but remain deeply tied to Cook Islands customs, language, and spirituality.
Social Context:
While New Zealand offers broader protections and visibility for LGBTQIA+ individuals, Akava’ine still face cultural stigma, especially when navigating between traditional expectations and modern gender identity recognition. Their experiences are shaped by colonial histories, religious conservatism, and limited representation in mainstream narratives.
Importance in the Directory:
Including Akava’ine in the Rainbow Directory affirms the importance of indigenous and Pacific gender identities. It helps foster inclusive dialogue and educate the wider public about cultural diversity within gender and sexuality. Respect for Akava’ine means acknowledging their history, identity, and role within their communities, both in Aotearoa and the Cook Islands.
Asexual
Definition:
Asexuality refers to a sexual orientation where an individual experiences little or no sexual attraction to others. It exists on a spectrum and can manifest in various ways, including a complete lack of interest in sexual activity or occasional sexual desire that may depend on specific conditions or emotional bonds.
Key Characteristics:
Asexual people may still form deep romantic or emotional relationships, often identifying as heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, or aromantic. Some asexual individuals engage in sexual activity for various reasons—love, intimacy, or reproduction—while others do not. Importantly, asexuality is not the result of trauma, dysfunction, or celibacy by choice; it is a valid and natural sexual orientation.
Misconceptions:
Common misunderstandings include viewing asexuality as a medical issue or a temporary state. However, asexuality is recognized by mental health professionals and LGBTQIA+ organizations as a legitimate orientation, not a disorder or deficiency.
Why It Matters:
Acknowledging asexuality helps challenge the assumption that sexual attraction is a universal experience. In a society that heavily prioritizes sexual relationships, visibility for asexual people promotes acceptance, mental wellness, and broader understanding of human diversity.
Bisexual
Definition:
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation in which an individual experiences emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction to more than one gender. It is often described as attraction to both men and women, though many bisexual individuals feel attraction across a broader gender spectrum.
Spectrum of Attraction:
Bisexuality is fluid and varies between individuals. Some may have a stronger attraction to one gender over another, while others feel equally drawn across different gender identities. Bisexuality can include cisgender, transgender, and non-binary individuals within its range of attraction.
Challenges and Biphobia:
Bisexual people frequently face marginalization both within and outside the LGBTQIA+ community. This includes stereotypes like being “confused” or “going through a phase.” Biphobia can lead to identity erasure, which affects mental health and limits community support.
Visibility and Representation:
Representation of bisexuality is increasing but still limited in mainstream media. Public understanding often mischaracterizes bisexual individuals, leading to their exclusion in queer spaces or misunderstanding in heterosexual ones. More open conversation and education are essential for normalizing bisexual experiences.
In the Rainbow Directory:
Bisexual visibility helps dismantle rigid binaries in sexuality. Including bisexual resources and narratives in the directory supports greater inclusiveness and affirms the legitimacy of fluid sexual identities.
Fa’afafine
Definition:
Fa’afafine is a Samoan cultural term that translates to “in the manner of a woman.” It is used to describe people assigned male at birth who embody both masculine and feminine traits, often identifying with a feminine gender expression.
Cultural Identity:
Fa’afafine is not a direct equivalent to “transgender woman,” though there are overlaps. It is a third-gender category deeply rooted in Samoan culture and tradition. Fa’afafine often hold respected roles in their communities and may engage in caregiving, education, and the arts.
Gender Fluidity in Pacific Culture:
Pacific societies, including Samoa, have long recognized non-binary gender roles. Fa’afafine are typically raised with the understanding of their identity from a young age, with many families embracing their role. However, as with many non-Western gender identities, modern influences and colonization have complicated public perception.
Misunderstandings:
Fa’afafine are sometimes misunderstood or misrepresented when Western gender frameworks are applied. Their gender identity exists within a cultural context that may not align neatly with Western definitions of male, female, or transgender.
Why It Matters:
Recognizing fa’afafine affirms cultural diversity in gender identity. It also challenges the Western-centric narratives of LGBTQIA+ identities, providing visibility for Pasifika communities and promoting a richer understanding of gender fluidity across cultures.
Cisgender
Cisgender (often abbreviated as “cis”) refers to individuals whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth. For example, someone who was assigned female at birth and identifies as a woman is considered cisgender. The term was developed to offer a neutral and descriptive label that is not centered around the term “transgender,” helping to foster balanced discussions around gender diversity.
The prefix “cis-” comes from Latin, meaning “on this side of,” in contrast to “trans-,” meaning “across from” or “on the other side of.” Using the term “cisgender” allows people to describe both trans and non-trans individuals without implying that one is the default or norm.
Cisgender individuals may not have to think about their gender identity as much as transgender or gender-diverse people because societal systems and expectations are typically structured around cisnormativity — the assumption that everyone is cisgender. As a result, cisgender people often experience fewer barriers related to legal recognition, healthcare, employment, or safety when expressing their gender.
While identifying as cisgender does not imply specific beliefs or attitudes toward the LGBTQIA+ community, understanding the term is crucial to fostering inclusive conversations. Awareness of cisgender privilege can help in addressing structural inequalities and supporting the rights and well-being of transgender, non-binary, and other gender-diverse individuals.
Genderfluid
Genderfluid refers to a gender identity that changes over time or in different contexts. People who identify as genderfluid may feel more masculine, feminine, non-binary, or a mix of genders at different times. Their sense of gender may shift daily, weekly, or even moment-to-moment. Genderfluid individuals often experience their identity as dynamic and evolving, rather than fixed.
This identity falls under the broader umbrella of gender non-conformity and is closely associated with non-binary experiences, though not all genderfluid individuals identify as non-binary. Some genderfluid people also identify as transgender, while others may not — it depends on whether their gender differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.
Genderfluid people may choose to express their gender in different ways depending on how they feel — for instance, altering clothing, pronouns, or names to match their gender expression at a given time. This fluidity is a valid and natural expression of human identity.
It’s important to respect genderfluid individuals by acknowledging their current identity and using their preferred pronouns and names. Misunderstanding or misrepresenting genderfluidity can lead to feelings of invalidation or marginalisation.
Understanding genderfluidity helps challenge rigid gender norms and supports the broader goal of recognizing the full diversity of gender identities within society. In inclusive spaces like the Rainbow Directory, genderfluid people can find visibility, affirmation, and connection within the LGBTQIA+ community.
Intersex
Intersex is a general term used to describe individuals born with physical sex characteristics — such as chromosomes, hormone levels, gonads, or genitals — that do not fit typical definitions of male or female. These natural variations may be visible at birth, emerge during puberty, or not become apparent until later in life.
Being intersex is a biological condition, not a gender identity or sexual orientation. There are over 40 known intersex variations, including conditions like Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS) and Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (CAH). Intersex individuals may identify as male, female, both, or neither.
Historically, many intersex infants were subjected to medical interventions, including surgeries or hormone treatments, to make their bodies conform to binary sex expectations. These practices often occurred without informed consent and have led to physical and psychological harm. Today, intersex advocates around the world, including in Aotearoa New Zealand, call for bodily autonomy, human rights protections, and greater awareness.
Intersex people face unique challenges, including lack of recognition in legal systems, inadequate medical information, and social stigma. It is essential to respect each person’s identity, refrain from making assumptions about their bodies, and use inclusive language.
Recognizing and supporting intersex individuals as part of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum promotes bodily diversity and human dignity. Creating safe, informed spaces for intersex people is vital to the broader vision of equality and respect within rainbow communities.
Fa’afafine
Fa’afafine is a traditional gender identity specific to Samoa and is recognized as a unique part of the country’s cultural and social fabric. The term literally translates to “in the manner of a woman” and is used to describe individuals assigned male at birth who embody both masculine and feminine gender traits, often expressing a female gender identity.
Fa’afafine have long held accepted and valued roles in Samoan society, particularly in caregiving, education, arts, and community service. Unlike Western concepts of gender identity, fa’afafine is not strictly aligned with being transgender or gay — it is a distinct identity that exists within Samoan cultural understandings of gender.
Many fa’afafine people embrace femininity, dress in traditionally female clothing, and participate in female social roles, while some may also maintain masculine aspects. Sexual orientation among fa’afafine varies and is considered separate from gender identity.
Samoan society often views fa’afafine with respect and inclusion, although individual experiences may differ depending on levels of cultural acceptance and exposure to colonial or religious influences. Within diaspora communities, including Aotearoa New Zealand, fa’afafine individuals continue to play vital cultural roles and advocate for Pasifika gender diversity and LGBTQIA+ rights.
Understanding the identity of fa’afafine is key to recognizing the rich tapestry of gender across cultures and the significance of decolonizing Western-centric views of gender identity. The Rainbow Directory honours this cultural legacy and supports visibility for all Pasifika gender identities.
Gay
Gay refers to a person who is emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to individuals of the same gender. While the term “gay” is often used to describe men attracted to men, it can also be used more broadly to include all people who experience same-gender attraction, including women and non-binary individuals. However, some women may prefer the term “lesbian.”
The term has evolved over time from its original meaning of being carefree to its current use as a primary descriptor of same-sex orientation. It gained prominence during the 20th century and has since been reclaimed as a positive identity by members of the LGBTQIA+ community.
Being gay is just one of many valid sexual orientations. Like all identities, it exists on a spectrum, with different people experiencing their sexuality in unique and personal ways. Some gay individuals are openly “out,” while others may choose not to disclose their orientation due to personal, cultural, or safety concerns.
Discrimination, homophobia, and societal stigma remain challenges faced by many gay individuals globally, although social attitudes have improved significantly in places like Aotearoa New Zealand. Legal protections and community support have made it easier for gay people to live openly and authentically.
Affirming gay identity helps challenge harmful stereotypes and fosters inclusive communities. The Rainbow Directory supports the gay community by promoting visibility, connection, and access to safe, affirming resources and spaces.
Gender Identity
Gender identity refers to an individual’s deeply held internal understanding and experience of their own gender. This could be male, female, both, neither, or something entirely different. Unlike gender expression — which relates to outward appearances and behaviors — gender identity is an internal sense of self that may or may not align with the sex assigned at birth.
For example, someone assigned female at birth may identify as a man, a woman, non-binary, or another gender entirely. Because gender identity is not always visible, it’s essential to respect people’s stated identity and pronouns regardless of appearance or assumptions.
Gender identity forms an important part of a person’s overall sense of self and can emerge at any stage in life. Some people know their gender identity from a very young age, while others may explore or redefine it over time. It can be static or fluid, depending on the individual.
Acknowledging and respecting each person’s gender identity is a cornerstone of inclusion. Misgendering — using incorrect pronouns or names — can cause distress and contribute to exclusion, discrimination, or harm.
In New Zealand, greater recognition of diverse gender identities is reflected in changing policies, including gender options on official documents and inclusive healthcare practices. However, there is still progress to be made in fully affirming all gender identities in society.
At the Rainbow Directory, we support all expressions of gender identity by promoting understanding, education, and respect for the full spectrum of gender diversity.
Genderqueer
Genderqueer is a gender identity used by individuals who reject traditional gender distinctions and norms. People who identify as genderqueer may feel they do not fit into the binary categories of “male” or “female” and may instead identify as both, neither, or a blend of genders. Some may also use terms like gender non-conforming, non-binary, or androgynous.
This identity challenges the socially constructed norms that dictate how people should behave or present based on their assigned sex at birth. While genderqueer individuals may choose to express themselves in ways that are perceived as gender-fluid or nontraditional, others may not visibly signal their identity through clothing or behavior.
Genderqueer people may or may not seek medical or legal transition. Some choose to change their name or pronouns (e.g., using they/them), while others do not. The key aspect is their non-conformity to binary gender expectations and the authenticity of their personal identity.
Language, like identity, evolves. The term genderqueer became more widely used in the 1990s and 2000s as individuals sought labels that better reflected their lived experience outside the binary.
Respecting genderqueer identities is essential to creating inclusive communities. This includes using correct pronouns, listening without judgment, and ensuring services and systems do not reinforce binary-only options.
At the Rainbow Directory, we affirm genderqueer individuals as valuable members of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, contributing to the richness of gender diversity in Aotearoa New Zealand and beyond.
Homophobia
Homophobia is the irrational fear, aversion, hatred, or discrimination against people who are or are perceived to be homosexual. It can manifest in many forms — from casual jokes and social exclusion to violence, systemic discrimination, or denial of rights and opportunities. Homophobia can be individual, cultural, institutional, or internalised.
At the interpersonal level, homophobia may involve bullying, verbal abuse, or exclusion from family or social settings. Institutionally, it may appear in discriminatory laws, workplace bias, lack of representation, or unequal healthcare access. In some societies, homosexuality is criminalised, and people may be subject to persecution simply for expressing who they are.
Internalised homophobia occurs when LGBTQIA+ individuals absorb negative societal messages and develop self-hatred or shame about their identity. This can lead to mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem.
Despite increasing legal protections and public awareness in countries like New Zealand, homophobia still exists and impacts the well-being and safety of LGBTQIA+ people. It can affect access to housing, employment, education, and social participation.
Combating homophobia requires education, visibility, and inclusive policies. Celebrating LGBTQIA+ pride, promoting allyship, and standing up against hate are key tools in dismantling prejudice.
The Rainbow Directory provides safe, affirming resources and encourages a culture of inclusion — where homophobia is not tolerated, and every individual can live authentically without fear.
Lesbian
A lesbian is a woman who is emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to other women. The term is used as both a personal and community identity and has historical roots going back to the Greek island of Lesbos, the home of poet Sappho, whose work expressed affection for other women.
Lesbian is a core identity within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum and includes a diverse range of experiences. Some lesbians may also identify as non-binary, queer, or gender non-conforming. Lesbian women come from all walks of life and may have varied cultural, racial, or spiritual backgrounds.
The lesbian community has played a central role in the history of LGBTQIA+ rights movements, advocating for visibility, equal rights, and health access. At the same time, lesbians often face unique challenges — including double discrimination based on both gender and sexual orientation.
In many parts of the world, lesbian women experience higher rates of gender-based violence, employment discrimination, and healthcare neglect. In New Zealand, while there are increasing legal protections and public support, social stigma and underrepresentation remain concerns.
Terms like “lesbian visibility” highlight the need for better representation of lesbian lives, families, and stories in media and public policy.
The Rainbow Directory celebrates and supports lesbian individuals and communities by promoting understanding, connection, and pride in one’s identity — helping ensure that lesbian voices are heard, seen, and respected.
MtF / Trans Woman
MtF stands for “male-to-female” and refers to a person who was assigned male at birth but identifies as a woman. The term “trans woman” is more commonly used today and is considered respectful and inclusive, focusing on gender identity rather than assigned sex.
Trans women may or may not undergo medical transition, which could include hormone therapy or surgery. Transition is a deeply personal process and can involve social, legal, and/or medical changes. Not all trans women choose or can access medical transition, and their identity is valid regardless of the steps they take.
Trans women often face specific challenges, including transphobia, sexism, and limited access to gender-affirming healthcare. Many are also at heightened risk of violence, discrimination, and social exclusion. Despite this, trans women have long been at the forefront of LGBTQIA+ rights movements — from the Stonewall uprising to modern advocacy in Aotearoa.
In New Zealand, protections for trans people are improving, though access to gender-affirming care and legal recognition continues to evolve. Social acceptance varies across communities, and many trans women still experience barriers to employment, housing, and safety.
At the Rainbow Directory, we stand with trans women, affirming their identities, amplifying their voices, and advocating for their right to live safely, proudly, and authentically.
Non-Binary
Non-binary is an umbrella term for gender identities that don’t fit strictly within the traditional categories of male or female. A non-binary person may identify as both genders, somewhere in between, neither, or have a fluid identity that changes over time. Non-binary identities are part of the broader gender-diverse spectrum and are not defined by physical appearance, transition status, or pronoun use.
Some non-binary people use terms such as genderqueer, agender, bigender, or genderfluid to describe their experience. Others simply identify as non-binary. Pronouns vary — common ones include they/them, but some non-binary individuals also use he/him, she/her, or neopronouns.
The existence of non-binary identities is not new; many cultures — including Indigenous and Pacific cultures — have long recognized genders outside the binary. However, mainstream recognition in Western societies has grown more recently, helping promote legal, medical, and social inclusivity.
Non-binary people may face specific challenges, including being misgendered, denied access to correct documentation, or misunderstood in healthcare and public services. Visibility remains a key issue, as does societal acceptance.
At the Rainbow Directory, we advocate for the recognition and affirmation of non-binary identities in all areas of life — from education and employment to healthcare and legislation. We celebrate gender diversity as a natural and valid part of the human experience.
Pansexual
Pansexual refers to a sexual orientation where a person feels physical, emotional, or romantic attraction toward others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. The word comes from the Greek prefix “pan,” meaning “all,” indicating inclusivity of all gender expressions.
Unlike bisexuality, which generally describes attraction to more than one gender (often male and female), pansexuality emphasizes gender as irrelevant to attraction. A pansexual individual may be attracted to cisgender people, transgender people, non-binary individuals, and others across the gender spectrum.
It’s important to understand that pansexuality is not the same as being attracted to everyone. Like all orientations, attraction is personal and selective. The defining feature is that gender does not serve as a barrier or limitation in forming romantic or sexual connections.
Pansexual visibility is growing, but misconceptions still exist — such as the incorrect belief that pansexuality is hypersexual or inherently “confused.” In reality, pansexuality is a valid and consistent identity, with its own history and experiences.
At the Rainbow Directory, we uplift pansexual voices and ensure pansexual people have safe spaces to express their identity, build community, and find resources. We recognize pansexuality as a valuable and inclusive part of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.
Queer
“Queer” is a reclaimed term that was once used as a slur but is now embraced by many in the LGBTQIA+ community to describe identities that fall outside heteronormative or cisnormative frameworks. It is a broad, fluid label that can refer to sexual orientation, gender identity, or both.
Some individuals use queer because existing labels (like gay, bisexual, or transgender) don’t fully capture the complexity of their experiences. Others prefer it as a political identity that resists categorization and challenges social norms.
The term gained popularity during the late 20th century with the rise of Queer Theory and activist movements that sought to disrupt binary thinking around gender and sexuality. However, because of its history, not everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community uses or accepts the word.
Queer can describe people who:
- Feel outside of heterosexuality and/or gender norms.
- Don’t wish to use traditional labels.
- Identify with a more radical or activist-based approach to identity.
While the term is inclusive and empowering for many, it should always be used respectfully and never assumed for someone without their consent.
At the Rainbow Directory, we respect individuals’ chosen terms and embrace “queer” as one of many identities within the rich spectrum of LGBTQIA+ experiences.
Sexual Orientation
Sexual orientation refers to a person’s pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attraction to others. It describes who someone is drawn to — physically, emotionally, or romantically — and is distinct from gender identity.
Common types of sexual orientation include:
- Heterosexual: attraction to people of the opposite gender.
- Homosexual: attraction to people of the same gender.
- Bisexual: attraction to more than one gender.
- Pansexual: attraction regardless of gender.
- Asexual: little to no sexual attraction to others.
Sexual orientation is not a choice and is generally understood to be an inherent aspect of who someone is. People may realize or explore their orientation at different stages of life. For some, it remains constant; for others, it may evolve.
Misconceptions and societal pressure can lead to confusion or suppression, particularly in environments that are not inclusive. Supporting someone’s orientation means listening without judgment, respecting their labels and experiences, and avoiding harmful assumptions.
In New Zealand, efforts to recognize and protect diverse sexual orientations have advanced through human rights legislation, anti-discrimination laws, and increased visibility in media and education.
At the Rainbow Directory, we celebrate all sexual orientations and aim to educate, uplift, and connect people across the full spectrum of identity and attraction.
Takatāpui
Takatāpui is a traditional Māori term that historically meant “intimate companion of the same sex.” In contemporary usage, it is an inclusive term that embraces all Māori who identify with diverse genders and sexualities — including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and queer identities.
The term is deeply rooted in tikanga (Māori customs and practices) and offers a way for Māori individuals to express both their cultural and sexual/gender identities together. Takatāpui is more than a label; it reflects a holistic worldview that integrates whānau (family), whakapapa (genealogy), and wairua (spirit).
In many Indigenous cultures, including Māori, gender and sexuality were historically more fluid and accepted than in colonial Western societies. Colonisation disrupted these practices, introducing rigid binaries and heteronormative standards. The reclaiming of takatāpui is therefore both cultural and political — a form of resistance and pride.
Being takatāpui is not simply about being queer and Māori; it’s about embracing a culturally grounded identity. This includes revitalizing language, restoring knowledge, and uplifting Māori voices within the LGBTQIA+ community.
At the Rainbow Directory, we honour takatāpui identities by promoting cultural understanding, elevating Indigenous perspectives, and supporting resources that centre Māori LGBTQIA+ voices in Aotearoa.
Tangata ira tāne
Tangata ira tāne is a traditional Māori term referring to individuals who are born with the wairua (spirit) of a man. This term reflects a deep cultural understanding of gender identity, one that predates colonial influence and acknowledges the spiritual essence of a person beyond their physical form.
In a Māori worldview, wairua (spirit) and tinana (body) are distinct but interconnected. Tangata ira tāne honours this connection, recognising that a person’s gender identity is not solely defined by biology, but by who they are in spirit and how they express themselves in the world.
The use of this term, like whakawāhine for those with the spirit of a woman, helps reclaim Indigenous gender narratives and challenge Western-imposed binaries. It plays a key role in restoring cultural pride and visibility for takatāpui and Māori gender-diverse individuals.
At the Rainbow Directory, we acknowledge the importance of supporting identity journeys grounded in both culture and self-awareness. Tangata ira tāne is an example of how Indigenous terms provide more inclusive, respectful ways of describing gender diversity, rooted in whānau, whakapapa, and tikanga.
Transgender
Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe individuals whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. A transgender person may identify as male, female, non-binary, or another gender entirely. Being transgender is not dependent on physical appearance, medical procedures, or transitioning.
For example, someone assigned female at birth may identify as male (trans man), or someone assigned male may identify as female (trans woman). Others may identify outside the traditional gender binary altogether.
The transgender community includes many subgroups, such as transsexuals, genderqueer people, non-binary individuals, and those who are gender-fluid or agender. While some transgender people choose to undergo hormone therapy or surgery, others do not — and all identities are valid.
Transgender individuals often face discrimination, social exclusion, and mental health challenges, particularly in environments lacking support or awareness. Advocating for transgender rights means promoting inclusive policies, healthcare access, safe workplaces, and gender-affirming language and practices.
The Rainbow Directory supports the dignity, identity, and expression of all transgender people. We work to create a space that reflects respect, empowerment, and the right to live as one’s true self in Aotearoa and beyond.
Transphobia
Transphobia refers to the fear, hatred, prejudice, or discrimination directed at transgender people or those perceived to deviate from traditional gender norms. It can manifest in many ways — from verbal harassment and exclusion to systemic barriers in healthcare, employment, and legal recognition.
Like homophobia, transphobia is often rooted in misinformation, cultural bias, and rigid binary thinking. It may be expressed overtly, such as denying someone the right to use the correct bathroom, or subtly, like misgendering someone or making dismissive jokes.
Transphobia can also be internalised. Some transgender individuals may struggle with negative societal beliefs and experience self-doubt, shame, or mental health issues as a result. This is especially concerning in young people, where rejection can lead to depression or suicidal ideation.
Combatting transphobia requires education, inclusive policy, allyship, and active support for trans voices. It involves challenging stereotypes and empowering everyone to live openly and safely in their authentic gender identity.
At the Rainbow Directory, we stand against transphobia in all forms. We advocate for respect, inclusion, and education — building safer spaces where transgender people are seen, heard, and celebrated.
Whakawāhine
Whakawāhine is a Māori term meaning “to become a woman” or “to take on the role of a woman.” It is used to describe individuals who are born with male bodies but identify with a female gender identity or spirit — akin to the concept of a trans woman in Western contexts.
However, unlike Western definitions, whakawāhine comes from a rich cultural context that values wairua (spirit), tikanga (customs), and whakapapa (genealogy). The term is deeply rooted in Māori understanding of gender as fluid, spiritual, and relational.
Many whakawāhine individuals also identify as takatāpui, aligning both their gender identity and cultural heritage. Reclaiming this term is a powerful act of resistance against colonial erasure of diverse Māori identities, and an affirmation of mana and dignity.
The Rainbow Directory supports the recognition of whakawāhine identities as valid, beautiful, and deserving of full inclusion in our communities. We work to educate others about culturally specific terms and encourage respectful language that aligns with Indigenous values and lived experience.
同志 (Tóngzhì)
Tóngzhì (同志) is a Chinese word that originally meant “comrade” — sharing the same purpose or ideals — and was commonly used in political and military contexts. Since the 1990s, however, it has been widely adopted in regions like Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Mainland China to refer to people within the LGBTQIA+ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals.
Its adoption is significant because it offers a culturally sensitive alternative to Western LGBTQ+ labels, which don’t always fit or translate well within East Asian cultural frameworks. Tóngzhì allows for the expression of diverse identities while avoiding medicalized or pathologising language.
The word is inclusive and often used with pride in LGBTQ+ activism, academic work, and community initiatives in Chinese-speaking regions. However, the term’s meaning can vary depending on context — it may still carry its original political connotation or be used ambiguously.
The Rainbow Directory recognises tóngzhì as part of the broader mosaic of global queer identities. By embracing culturally grounded terms like tóngzhì, we affirm the importance of language, community, and respect in how people describe themselves — across Aotearoa and beyond.
Heteronormativity
Definition:
Heteronormativity is the assumption that heterosexuality is the default, normal, or preferred mode of sexual orientation. It presumes that people fall into distinct male and female roles and that romantic and sexual relationships should only occur between the two.
Description:
This framework influences laws, media, education, and cultural expectations — reinforcing binary gender roles and marginalising LGBTQIA+ experiences. Heteronormativity manifests in everyday scenarios, such as forms that only allow “male/female” options, or the assumption that a man has a wife or a woman a husband.
It can also impact mental health, self-acceptance, and access to services. Recognising heteronormative assumptions helps create more inclusive environments. DEI efforts, inclusive language, and representation challenge this system and validate diverse identities.
In New Zealand, dismantling heteronormative bias supports the well-being and visibility of LGBTQIA+ communities and encourages a culture where everyone is valued for who they are.
Heterosexism
Definition:
Heterosexism is the belief system that privileges heterosexuality as superior or more valid than other sexual orientations. It may be overt or subtle, but always places non-heterosexual people at a disadvantage.
Description:
Unlike homophobia — which is often rooted in fear or hatred — heterosexism is more systemic. It includes policies, attitudes, and actions that ignore or exclude LGBTQIA+ individuals. Examples include lack of same-gender relationship education, non-inclusive medical care, or workplace benefits restricted to heterosexual couples.
Heterosexism often goes unnoticed, especially by those it benefits. However, its impact on queer communities is significant. It leads to social invisibility, marginalisation, and internalised feelings of shame or inferiority.
In New Zealand, public awareness campaigns and inclusive legislative changes are beginning to address this issue. Understanding and challenging heterosexism is essential to achieving true equality and fostering a society where all relationships and identities are respected.
FtM / Trans Man
Definition:
FtM stands for “Female-to-Male,” and is commonly used to describe a transgender man—someone who was assigned female at birth (AFAB) but identifies and lives as male.
Explanation:
Trans men may transition socially, medically, or legally. Social transition can include using a different name, pronouns (he/him), and dressing in ways that affirm their gender identity. Medical transition may involve hormone replacement therapy (HRT), such as testosterone, and/or surgeries like chest reconstruction or genital affirmation surgery. Legal transition can involve changing names and gender markers on identification documents.
It is important to recognize that not all trans men will pursue every aspect of transition, and each journey is valid. The term “FtM” has been used historically in clinical settings, but many individuals now prefer simply “trans man” as it centers their affirmed gender rather than referencing the one assigned at birth.
Respect and Language:
Always use a person’s chosen name and pronouns. Avoid outdated or invasive questions about someone’s body or transition. Affirming language plays a vital role in creating a supportive and inclusive environment for trans men.
Cultural Note (Aotearoa New Zealand):
In Aotearoa, respect for gender diversity is increasing, with legal protections in place for transgender individuals. However, many trans men still face stigma and barriers in healthcare and society. Continued education, visibility, and support remain crucial.
Androgynous
Definition:
Androgynous refers to a gender expression or appearance that blends or defies traditional notions of masculinity and femininity.
Explanation:
The term can describe physical appearance, clothing style, behavior, or mannerisms that are not easily categorized as strictly “male” or “female.” Androgyny is about expression and may or may not relate to someone’s gender identity or sexual orientation. For example, someone who identifies as male or female may choose to present themselves in an androgynous way for personal, cultural, or aesthetic reasons.
In LGBTQIA+ contexts, androgyny is often a powerful statement of non-conformity to binary gender norms. It can also serve as a safety mechanism for some gender-diverse individuals navigating societal pressures.
Respect and Language:
Avoid making assumptions about someone’s gender identity based on their appearance. If unsure of someone’s pronouns, politely ask or use their name until clarified.
Cultural Note:
In Māori and Pacific cultures, traditional clothing, roles, and expression often embraced fluidity and did not always align with rigid Western gender binaries. Modern androgyny can be seen as a reassertion of this cultural legacy.
Aromantic
Definition:
An aromantic person experiences little or no romantic attraction to others.
Explanation:
Romantic attraction refers to the desire to form romantic relationships. Aromantic individuals may still form strong emotional bonds and friendships, but they typically do not desire romantic partnerships. Aromanticism exists on a spectrum—some people may experience romantic attraction rarely or only under specific circumstances (e.g., demiromantic or greyromantic).
It’s important to distinguish aromanticism from asexuality. While they can overlap, they are different: aromanticism is about romantic attraction; asexuality is about sexual attraction. An aromantic person may still experience sexual attraction and have sexual relationships.
Respect and Language:
Respect aromantic identities by not pressuring individuals into romantic norms or assuming they are “missing out.” Avoid pathologizing or suggesting that they just “haven’t found the right person.”
Cultural Considerations:
In a society that heavily values romantic relationships (romantic normativity), aromantic individuals can feel invisible. Increasing awareness helps normalize diverse relationship models, such as queerplatonic relationships or chosen family.
Two-Spirit
Definition:
Two-Spirit is a pan-Indigenous North American term used by some First Nations people to describe a person who embodies both masculine and feminine spirits, often holding unique cultural, spiritual, and societal roles.
Explanation:
The term was coined in 1990 at an Indigenous LGBTQ conference in Winnipeg, Canada, to replace outdated and offensive colonial terms. Two-Spirit identities and roles vary widely across Indigenous cultures—some tribes have distinct names, traditions, and responsibilities tied to Two-Spirit individuals.
Two-Spirit is not synonymous with being LGBTQ+, though there can be overlaps. It is a cultural identity deeply rooted in Indigenous traditions, worldviews, and understandings of gender and sexuality. Only Indigenous people can identify as Two-Spirit.
Respect and Language:
Non-Indigenous people should not claim the Two-Spirit identity. Always defer to a person’s self-identification and honor the cultural context of the term.
Relevance to Aotearoa:
While not native to Aotearoa, the Two-Spirit concept shares similarities with Māori identities such as takatāpui—demonstrating that gender and sexual diversity are not new but have long existed in Indigenous societies globally.
Demisexual
Definition:
A demisexual person only experiences sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional connection with someone.
Explanation:
Demisexuality exists on the asexual spectrum and challenges conventional expectations around attraction. Demisexual individuals typically do not experience primary sexual attraction (initial physical or instinctual desire), but may develop secondary attraction over time through deep trust, emotional closeness, or friendship.
Being demisexual is not about “waiting for the right person,” nor is it celibacy or abstinence. It’s a distinct orientation that helps individuals better understand their personal relationship to desire, intimacy, and connection.
Respect and Language:
Avoid dismissing demisexuality as “just being picky” or “normal.” Like all orientations, it is valid and real. Using inclusive language and acknowledging different types of attraction supports broader acceptance.
Cultural Context:
Demisexuality is gaining visibility in Aotearoa’s LGBTQIA+ community as awareness of the asexual spectrum grows. The recognition of these nuanced experiences helps build inclusive environments where all orientations are respected.
Ally
Definition:
An ally is a person who actively supports and advocates for the rights, dignity, and inclusion of LGBTQIA+ individuals and communities, despite not identifying as part of the community themselves.
Explanation:
Being an ally goes beyond passive acceptance. True allyship involves using one’s privilege to amplify LGBTQIA+ voices, challenging discrimination, advocating for equality, and fostering safe environments. Allies can be found in workplaces, schools, families, and communities, playing a crucial role in creating inclusive spaces and combating homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of prejudice.
Effective allies listen, learn, and act. They stay informed on LGBTQIA+ issues, respect chosen names and pronouns, and intervene in situations where prejudice occurs. Importantly, being an ally is an ongoing commitment—one that includes recognizing and correcting one’s own biases.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa New Zealand, many workplaces, schools, and organisations promote allyship through diversity training and Pride events. The concept of “active allyship” aligns with the principle of manaakitanga—caring for and supporting others—which is central in Māori culture. Allies help uphold this principle by creating safe spaces for everyone.
Respect and Language:
Allyship is not a label one claims—it is a role earned through consistent and visible action. The best allies are humble, open to feedback, and willing to grow.
Crossdresser
Definition:
A crossdresser is someone who wears clothing and accessories traditionally associated with a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth. This expression does not necessarily relate to gender identity or sexual orientation.
Explanation:
Crossdressing is most commonly done for self-expression, comfort, performance, or personal satisfaction. A person assigned male at birth might enjoy wearing traditionally feminine clothing without identifying as a woman or transgender. The same applies vice versa. Crossdressing has existed across cultures and history, and its meaning varies depending on context.
It is important to note that crossdressers are not inherently transgender or drag performers, although overlaps may occur. Drag often involves performance and exaggeration, whereas crossdressing is typically a personal or private expression.
Respect and Language:
Outdated and stigmatizing terms like “transvestite” should be avoided. Crossdressing is not a mental disorder or fetish, though such associations have historically led to misunderstanding and discrimination. Always refer to individuals with the pronouns and name they request, regardless of attire.
Cultural Context (NZ):
In Aotearoa, there is increasing acceptance of diverse forms of gender expression, especially among younger generations. The freedom to dress in ways that reflect one’s authentic self aligns with values of individuality and self-determination.
Drag Queen / Drag King
Definition:
Drag Queens and Drag Kings are performers who exaggerate gender expressions, typically as a form of art, entertainment, and self-expression.
Explanation:
A Drag Queen is usually a person (often a man, but not always) who performs femininity in a theatrical, often glamorous or satirical way. A Drag King is usually a person (often a woman, but not always) who performs masculinity in a similar fashion. Drag performances are common in bars, theatres, and Pride events, and have historically served as powerful tools for protest, celebration, and community building.
Drag is not synonymous with being transgender. Many drag artists are cisgender, but transgender, non-binary, and gender-diverse people also participate in drag culture. Drag allows people to explore and express gender through costume, makeup, dance, music, and comedy.
Respect and Language:
Respect drag performers as artists. Do not confuse their stage persona with their real-life identity unless they explicitly connect the two. Use the pronouns they prefer both in and out of drag.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
New Zealand has a vibrant drag scene with celebrated artists like Kita Mean and Spankie Jackzon (winners of RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under). Drag is both entertainment and a form of queer resistance, especially in spaces where LGBTQIA+ identities are still marginalised.
Questioning
Definition:
Questioning refers to a period of exploration in which a person is uncertain or curious about their sexual orientation, gender identity, or both.
Explanation:
The process of questioning is a natural and valid part of many people’s journeys. It can occur at any age and does not require a definite or immediate conclusion. A person may be questioning whether they are gay, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, asexual, or another identity. For some, questioning leads to identifying with a specific label; for others, it results in a continued rejection of labels altogether.
Questioning can be a vulnerable time, especially when accompanied by fear of rejection or lack of support. It’s important to create safe and affirming environments where individuals feel free to explore their identity without pressure or judgment.
Respect and Language:
Do not force someone to “choose a side” or “hurry up and decide.” Allow people the time and space to find what resonates with them. Respect their journey and be supportive regardless of the outcome.
Cultural Note (NZ):
In Aotearoa, schools and youth organisations increasingly recognise the importance of supporting questioning individuals, particularly through inclusive health education and LGBTQIA+ support groups like RainbowYOUTH. This aligns with the values of whanaungatanga (relationships) and manaakitanga (care and hospitality).
Polyamorous
Definition:
Polyamorous refers to a relationship orientation in which a person has, or is open to having, multiple romantic or sexual relationships with the knowledge and consent of all parties involved.
Explanation:
Polyamory is based on principles of honesty, communication, and consent. Unlike cheating or casual dating, polyamorous relationships are ethical and intentional. These relationships may be hierarchical (primary/secondary partners) or non-hierarchical. Some people identify as polyamorous as part of their identity, while others may engage in polyamorous relationships without adopting the label.
Polyamory is distinct from open relationships (which often emphasize sexual freedom rather than emotional connection) and from polygamy (a culturally specific marriage practice). Polyamorous people may be of any sexual orientation or gender identity.
Respect and Language:
Avoid assuming polyamorous people are less committed or incapable of forming deep bonds. Using respectful language and acknowledging diverse relationship models is part of being inclusive.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In New Zealand, polyamory is gaining visibility as relationship diversity becomes more widely accepted. While not legally recognised as marriage or civil unions, polyamorous families still seek the same social and legal protections, especially around parenting, healthcare, and housing.
Intergender
Definition:
Intergender refers to a gender identity that is between or a mix of male and female, or situated somewhere on the spectrum between the traditional binary genders.
Explanation:
Intergender people may feel they embody aspects of both masculinity and femininity, or neither in full. Some may also associate their gender with being in-between or existing outside of binary definitions altogether. Intergender is a non-binary identity and can overlap with other gender-diverse experiences like genderqueer or androgynous.
This term is not widely used in all communities but is embraced by individuals who find the label reflective of their unique gender experience. Intergender people may choose to transition socially, legally, or medically, or they may not. Their experience of gender is valid regardless of presentation or pronouns.
Respect and Language:
Use the pronouns and names that individuals request. Do not assume that someone’s outward appearance reflects their gender identity. Avoid asking intrusive questions or demanding explanations for someone’s identity.
Cultural Note (NZ):
As Aotearoa New Zealand becomes more inclusive of non-binary identities, intergender is gaining recognition within queer and takatāpui communities. Supporting gender-diverse people includes recognising lesser-known identities and respecting people’s right to self-identify.
Misgendering
Definition:
Misgendering is the act of referring to someone using words, pronouns, or titles that do not align with their affirmed gender identity.
Explanation:
Misgendering can occur accidentally or deliberately. Even when unintentional, it can cause emotional distress, invalidate a person’s identity, and contribute to feelings of alienation. Repeated or purposeful misgendering is a form of discrimination and can severely affect an individual’s mental health.
Common forms include using the wrong pronouns (e.g., calling a trans woman “he”) or referring to someone by their birth name after they have chosen a new one (also known as deadnaming). Misgendering often happens in environments where there is a lack of education or willingness to respect diversity.
Respect and Language:
If you misgender someone, apologise briefly and use the correct term moving forward. Don’t over-explain or make it about your intentions—focus on affirming the individual’s identity. Use inclusive language (e.g., “they” if unsure), and respect people’s stated pronouns.
Cultural Note (NZ):
In schools, healthcare, and workplaces across Aotearoa, misgendering is increasingly recognised as a serious issue. Rainbow-inclusive policies often include guidelines for using correct pronouns and creating safer spaces for transgender and gender-diverse people.
Closeted / In the Closet
Definition:
“Closeted” refers to someone who has not disclosed their sexual orientation, gender identity, or both to others. Being “in the closet” is a metaphor for keeping one’s identity private due to fear, safety, or social pressure.
Explanation:
A closeted person may conceal their identity from family, friends, coworkers, or the wider public. Reasons for remaining closeted include fear of rejection, discrimination, loss of employment, housing insecurity, religious or cultural stigma, or safety concerns. Coming out is a deeply personal process and may happen gradually or not at all.
It’s important to understand that being closeted is not a form of dishonesty. It can be a necessary coping mechanism in unsupportive or unsafe environments. Outing someone without their consent is a serious violation of their privacy and can put them at risk.
Respect and Language:
Never pressure someone to come out or speculate about someone’s identity. Offer support and affirm that their timing is their own. Respect the importance of confidentiality.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
While Aotearoa is seen as progressive, being openly LGBTQIA+ can still be difficult, especially in rural areas, conservative communities, or some religious and cultural settings. Respecting a person’s journey, regardless of where they are, is essential for allyship and inclusion.
Femme
Definition:
Femme is a gender expression that embraces traditional or non-traditional femininity, often used within LGBTQIA+ communities to affirm feminine identity beyond cisgender womanhood.
Explanation:
Historically, femme has been used by queer women, especially lesbians, to describe themselves in contrast to the “butch” identity. Today, femme is embraced by people of all genders—including trans women, non-binary individuals, and genderfluid people—who identify with or express femininity.
Femme is not just about appearance; it can also reflect values, mannerisms, or cultural aesthetics. The term challenges the idea that femininity is weak or lesser and reclaims it as powerful and valid, especially within queer and marginalised contexts.
Femme people may still face assumptions that they are heterosexual or conform to gender norms. This invisibility, especially within the LGBTQIA+ community itself, can lead to unique forms of erasure.
Respect and Language:
Avoid stereotyping femme individuals or assuming they are not “queer enough.” Validate their identities by using their chosen labels and recognising femme as an empowered form of self-expression.
Cultural Note (NZ):
In Aotearoa’s queer spaces, femme identity is increasingly celebrated. Events, support groups, and art collectives are elevating femme voices and challenging the devaluation of feminine expression across gender identities.
Passing
Definition:
“Passing” refers to when a transgender or gender-diverse person is perceived by others as the gender they identify with, rather than the sex assigned at birth.
Explanation:
For some trans individuals, passing is important for safety, comfort, or social acceptance. It can help avoid harassment, discrimination, or uncomfortable questions. For others, passing may not be a priority or may not reflect their identity at all—especially for non-binary individuals who don’t seek to align with a binary gender presentation.
The concept of passing can be double-edged. While it may offer protection, it also reinforces the idea that cisnormativity is ideal. Some people feel pressure to pass to gain legitimacy, which can cause distress if they lack access to healthcare, facial surgeries, or hormones.
Respect and Language:
Do not comment on whether someone “passes” or not—it’s often offensive and reinforces harmful standards. Instead, affirm people’s identities without reference to how “convincing” their gender expression is.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, many trans and gender-diverse people face challenges accessing affirming healthcare, which can impact their ability or choice to pass. The growing visibility of trans individuals who don’t “pass” by conventional standards is helping challenge these narrow norms.
Binary Gender
Definition:
Binary gender refers to the classification of gender into two distinct and opposite categories: male and female. This framework is based on the assumption that all people are either one or the other.
Explanation:
The gender binary is deeply rooted in many societies and reinforced through social norms, institutions, media, and law. It assumes that gender identity must align with the sex assigned at birth and that there are only two valid genders, each with its own expected roles, behaviors, and appearances.
This binary model excludes and marginalizes individuals who identify outside of these two categories—such as non-binary, genderqueer, agender, and intersex people. It also erases the existence of traditional gender-diverse identities in many Indigenous cultures, including takatāpui in Māori culture and fa’afafine in Samoa.
Respect and Language:
Avoid assuming someone’s gender based on appearance, name, or voice. Recognising that gender exists on a spectrum is a key part of inclusivity. Terms like “all genders” or “people of all gender identities” help break down binary thinking.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
Aotearoa New Zealand’s growing recognition of gender diversity challenges the binary model. Legal documents now allow for non-binary gender markers, and inclusive education practices promote understanding of gender as fluid and culturally varied.
Romantic Orientation
Definition:
Romantic orientation describes a person’s pattern of romantic attraction—who they develop romantic feelings for—regardless of sexual attraction.
Explanation:
While sexual orientation refers to who someone is sexually attracted to, romantic orientation focuses on the emotional or romantic bonds they may seek. These orientations can align (e.g., someone is both heteroromantic and heterosexual) or differ (e.g., asexual but biromantic). Common romantic orientations include:
- Aromantic – no romantic attraction
- Heteroromantic – romantic attraction to a different gender
- Homoromantic – attraction to the same gender
- Biromantic – attraction to more than one gender
- Panromantic – attraction regardless of gender
- Demiromantic – attraction only after a deep emotional connection
Recognising romantic orientation is essential to understanding the diverse ways people experience relationships and intimacy, especially within the asexual and aromantic communities.
Respect and Language:
Do not assume someone’s romantic or sexual interests based on their gender or orientation. Use affirming language and avoid asking invasive questions. Be open to different relationship structures and boundaries.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
Awareness of romantic orientation is increasing in Aotearoa’s LGBTQIA+ community. Inclusive relationship education and mental health support are beginning to acknowledge these identities and help people navigate connections authentically.
Agender
Definition:
Agender refers to someone who identifies as having no gender or being genderless.
Explanation:
Agender individuals may feel a complete absence of gender or simply not relate to the concept at all. Some describe themselves as neutral or undefined by gender, while others actively reject gender as a social construct. Agender people may also be grouped under the non-binary or gender-diverse umbrella.
Agender people may or may not change their names, pronouns, or appearance to reflect their identity. Common pronouns include they/them, but preferences vary. Some agender individuals may undergo medical transition, while others feel no need for physical changes to affirm their identity.
Respect and Language:
Use a person’s chosen name and pronouns. Avoid framing agender identity as a phase, confusion, or lack of identity. Recognising agender identities helps break down the assumptions that everyone must have a gender.
Cultural Note (NZ):
Aotearoa’s efforts to embrace gender diversity increasingly include agender individuals in schools, workplaces, and advocacy. Their visibility strengthens the understanding that gender can be absent just as it can be fluid or multifaceted.
Coming Out
Definition:
Coming out is the personal process of revealing one’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or intersex status to others.
Explanation:
Coming out is a highly individual experience. It may involve sharing with friends, family, colleagues, or the broader community. The process can be liberating and affirming, but also emotionally complex—especially in environments that are not safe or accepting.
Coming out is not a one-time event. Many LGBTQIA+ people “come out” repeatedly throughout their lives, particularly when entering new spaces or relationships. The decision to come out—or not—belongs entirely to the individual.
The phrase “closeted” refers to someone who has not yet come out or chooses not to, while “outing” is when someone is revealed without their consent—a serious breach of trust and privacy.
Respect and Language:
Support someone who comes out to you by listening, affirming, and respecting their confidence. Don’t push anyone to come out or treat it as your story to share.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In New Zealand, coming out is becoming more supported, particularly in schools and among youth. Organisations like RainbowYOUTH and InsideOUT provide safe spaces and resources for people navigating this journey.
Chosen Family
Definition:
A chosen family refers to a group of individuals someone intentionally forms strong emotional bonds with, often as an alternative or supplement to their biological family.
Explanation:
Chosen families are especially significant in LGBTQIA+ communities, where individuals may face rejection or lack of understanding from their birth families. These families can consist of close friends, partners, mentors, or community members who offer support, love, and care.
For many queer individuals, chosen families provide emotional safety, celebration of identity, and practical support—from housing and healthcare to companionship and advocacy. They often play crucial roles during life events such as coming out, gender transition, or personal crises.
Respect and Language:
Acknowledge and respect someone’s chosen family with the same seriousness as biological or legal family. Avoid minimising their importance or assuming traditional family structures are superior.
Cultural Note (NZ):
In Aotearoa, the concept of chosen family resonates strongly within queer and takatāpui communities, where whānau (family) can extend beyond blood ties to include bonds of care, trust, and shared identity.
LGBTQIA+
Definition:
LGBTQIA+ is an inclusive acronym representing diverse sexual orientations, gender identities, and intersex variations. It stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, and the “+” acknowledges other identities not explicitly listed.
Explanation:
The LGBTQIA+ acronym evolved over time to better reflect the diversity within queer communities. Each letter represents a unique experience:
- L – Lesbian: women attracted to women
- G – Gay: men attracted to men (or broadly used for same-gender attraction)
- B – Bisexual: attraction to more than one gender
- T – Transgender: gender identity differs from assigned sex
- Q – Queer/Questioning: umbrella term for non-normative identities or those exploring
- I – Intersex: born with biological sex characteristics not fitting binary norms
- A – Asexual: experiences little or no sexual attraction
The “+” includes non-binary, pansexual, genderfluid, demisexual, agender, and culturally specific identities such as takatāpui and fa’afafine.
Respect and Language:
Use “LGBTQIA+” when referring to the broader community to ensure inclusivity. Avoid outdated acronyms like “GLBT” or limiting references to just “gay.”
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, the use of LGBTQIA+ is increasingly recognised in policy, education, and health services. It reflects a commitment to celebrating diversity while making room for all voices—especially those often left out.
Demiboy
Definition:
A demiboy is someone who partially—but not wholly—identifies as a boy or man, regardless of the sex assigned at birth.
Explanation:
Demiboy is a non-binary identity that may combine aspects of masculinity with other gendered or gender-neutral feelings. A demiboy may identify with being male to some degree, but not entirely or not in a traditional way. They may also relate to other gender identities simultaneously.
Demiboys can be assigned male or female at birth and may use a range of pronouns, including he/him, they/them, or others depending on their personal identity and comfort. Some demiboys medically transition, while others do not.
Respect and Language:
Use a demiboy’s stated name and pronouns. Avoid assuming full alignment with binary masculinity or making generalisations about their experience.
Cultural Note (NZ):
Demiboy identities, like many non-binary terms, are gaining visibility in Aotearoa through online spaces, youth education, and community-led advocacy. Including terms like demiboy in educational materials helps validate diverse gender expressions.
Demigirl
Definition:
A demigirl is someone who partially—but not entirely—identifies as a girl or woman, regardless of their assigned sex at birth.
Explanation:
Demigirl is a non-binary identity, where an individual may feel a partial connection to femininity but not completely identify as female. They may also experience other gender identities or feel partly genderless. The identity can exist anywhere along the gender spectrum and is personal and fluid.
Demigirls may use she/her, they/them, or other pronouns, and may or may not engage in social or medical forms of gender affirmation. Their experience is valid whether or not it fits within traditional female expressions.
Respect and Language:
Use the pronouns and names a demigirl provides. Avoid pressuring individuals to “pick a side” or conform to binary gender expectations.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
As part of Aotearoa’s growing recognition of gender diversity, terms like demigirl are becoming more familiar among younger generations and inclusive education programs. Resources that acknowledge such identities contribute to wellbeing and validation.
Drag
Definition:
Drag is a performance art form where individuals dress and act in exaggerated gender expression, often for entertainment, activism, or personal exploration.
Explanation:
Drag can involve adopting elaborate personas—such as Drag Queens (performing exaggerated femininity) and Drag Kings (exaggerated masculinity). These personas may use makeup, fashion, dance, lip-sync, comedy, and theatre to challenge gender norms and celebrate queerness.
Drag has deep historical roots, from vaudeville to underground ballroom culture, and has played a pivotal role in LGBTQIA+ activism and visibility. While some drag performers identify as LGBTQIA+, not all do—and drag is distinct from transgender identity.
Respect and Language:
Avoid conflating drag with gender identity. Drag is about performance, not necessarily how someone lives their daily life. Respect the performer’s onstage and offstage names and pronouns.
Cultural Note (NZ):
Aotearoa has a thriving drag scene, especially in urban centres like Auckland and Wellington. Performers like Kita Mean and Spankie Jackzon have gained international fame, while local events continue to empower queer expression and challenge gender roles.
Passing Privilege
Definition:
Passing privilege refers to the social advantages a transgender, non-binary, or queer person may experience when they are perceived as cisgender or heterosexual by others.
Explanation:
When someone “passes,” they are often assumed to belong to a dominant or socially accepted group—such as a trans man being seen as a cis man. This can protect them from discrimination, harassment, or invasive questions. However, this privilege can come at a cost, including erasure of one’s true identity and pressure to conform.
Passing privilege varies depending on context, race, class, and culture. For example, a white trans person may pass more easily or be treated more favorably than a person of colour with the same identity due to racial biases.
Respect and Language:
Recognise that not all trans or non-binary people want or are able to pass, and that visibility can come with both risk and pride. Don’t compliment someone by saying they “look cis” or “don’t look gay”—it reinforces harmful norms.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In New Zealand, passing privilege is increasingly acknowledged in conversations around equity in healthcare, employment, and community representation. It highlights the need to value all expressions of gender and identity—visible or not.
Outing
Definition:
Outing is the act of revealing someone’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or intersex status to others without their permission.
Explanation:
Outing is a violation of personal privacy and can have serious consequences for the individual involved. This act can be done intentionally or unintentionally, but in either case, it removes a person’s control over how and when they disclose their identity. Being outed can result in discrimination, loss of employment, family rejection, mental health harm, or even physical danger.
While some people are openly LGBTQIA+, many are not due to personal safety, cultural background, or emotional readiness. The process of coming out is deeply personal and should only be on the individual’s terms.
Respect and Language:
Never disclose someone’s LGBTQIA+ status without explicit consent. Even with good intentions, outing someone can have harmful effects. If you’re unsure whether someone is out in a specific setting, ask them privately or remain neutral.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, where diverse gender and sexual identities are increasingly accepted, outing is still a critical issue—especially in smaller communities or workplaces. Respecting privacy and promoting safe environments ensures people can come out in their own time.
Heteroflexible
Definition:
Heteroflexible describes someone who generally identifies as heterosexual but is occasionally attracted to people of the same gender.
Explanation:
This term falls under the umbrella of sexual fluidity and recognises that sexual attraction is not always rigid or fixed. A heteroflexible person may predominantly date or be attracted to the opposite sex, but still experience same-gender attractions from time to time. This attraction may or may not lead to romantic or sexual relationships.
Heteroflexibility allows individuals to explore identity without feeling constrained by binary or all-or-nothing labels. Some use the term as a temporary identifier during exploration, while others embrace it as a long-term identity.
Respect and Language:
Respect heteroflexible individuals’ self-identification. Avoid questioning the legitimacy of their experiences or assuming they are “in denial” or “confused.” It’s important to allow space for fluidity and non-linear journeys.
Cultural Note (NZ):
In New Zealand’s younger and more digitally connected communities, heteroflexible is becoming a more recognised term. It reflects the growing understanding that attraction and orientation can be complex and non-binary.
Aceflux
Definition:
Aceflux refers to someone whose experience of asexuality fluctuates over time. They may move between feeling asexual and experiencing varying levels of sexual attraction.
Explanation:
People who identify as aceflux are on the asexual spectrum but do not experience their orientation as fixed. Their level of sexual attraction may increase or decrease based on time, circumstances, emotional state, or unknown factors. Some aceflux individuals may feel fully asexual at one point and then experience moments of limited or full attraction later.
Aceflux is part of the wider asexual umbrella, which includes identities such as greysexual, demisexual, and others. The aceflux identity validates people who don’t have consistent experiences with attraction and offers language for those who feel their orientation is fluid.
Respect and Language:
Avoid assuming asexuality is rigid or permanent. Respect people’s self-identification even if it changes. Using affirming and non-judgmental language helps validate these often misunderstood identities.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, aceflux is lesser known but gaining visibility through online communities and educational resources. Its recognition reflects broader efforts to honour all sexual identities, particularly those that challenge mainstream narratives of desire.
Bicurious
Definition:
Bicurious describes someone—often identifying as heterosexual—who is exploring or open to the possibility of romantic or sexual attraction to more than one gender.
Explanation:
Bicurious people may have never had a same-gender experience but are questioning or curious about their attractions. This identity allows space to explore without pressure to adopt a specific label like bisexual or pansexual. Bicuriosity is not inherently transitional—some people identify this way long-term, while others eventually shift to another orientation label or return to their original one.
Bicurious individuals often face invalidation from both heterosexual and queer communities, with assumptions that their experience is “just a phase.” However, self-discovery is valid at all stages of life and in all forms.
Respect and Language:
Respect bicurious people by avoiding judgment or pushing for definitive labels. Create a safe space where exploration and fluidity are acknowledged as natural.
Cultural Note (NZ):
In New Zealand, bicuriosity is increasingly normalised, especially among youth who are exposed to broader LGBTQIA+ representation in media and school environments. It reflects the value of open, non-binary thinking around attraction and identity.
Intersectionality
Definition:
Intersectionality is the understanding that people’s identities and experiences are shaped by overlapping systems of oppression and privilege, such as race, gender, sexuality, class, disability, and more.
Explanation:
Coined by legal scholar Kimberlé Crenshaw, intersectionality acknowledges that someone may face unique challenges not just because of their LGBTQIA+ identity, but because of how it intersects with other identities. For example, a Māori trans woman may experience racism, sexism, and transphobia simultaneously. These experiences are not isolated but interlinked, influencing how a person navigates the world.
In LGBTQIA+ contexts, intersectionality helps highlight why some voices—particularly from Indigenous, disabled, migrant, or low-income backgrounds—are underrepresented or disproportionately affected by inequality.
Respect and Language:
Recognise that not all LGBTQIA+ experiences are the same. Prioritise diverse voices, especially those most marginalised, and avoid universalising queer narratives.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, intersectionality is essential in understanding how colonisation, cultural identity, and systemic discrimination affect queer Māori, Pasifika, and other communities. It strengthens efforts toward inclusive policy, healthcare, and representation.
Internalised Homophobia
Definition:
Internalised homophobia refers to the involuntary belief by LGBTQIA+ individuals that heterosexuality is superior, often leading to shame, denial, or negative feelings about their own sexual orientation.
Explanation:
This internal conflict results from absorbing negative societal attitudes, stigma, or discrimination about being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or queer. It may manifest as self-loathing, discomfort with other queer people, attempts to change one’s orientation, or even homophobic behaviour towards others as a projection of internal struggle.
Internalised homophobia can also impact mental health—leading to anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, or self-isolation. It may be especially prevalent in communities where religious, cultural, or familial values promote heteronormativity or anti-LGBTQIA+ sentiments.
Overcoming internalised homophobia involves self-acceptance, education, access to affirming support systems, and community connection.
Respect and Language:
Avoid minimising or mocking someone’s internal struggle. Offer empathy and encouragement without pressuring them to “come out” or adopt labels. Affirming environments and role models can significantly reduce internalised stigma.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, internalised homophobia remains a challenge, especially for those in rural areas or conservative cultural or religious environments. Supportive initiatives such as school pride groups and counselling services are key to helping individuals unlearn this harmful internalisation.
Non-Monosexual
Definition:
Non-monosexual refers to anyone who is romantically or sexually attracted to more than one gender. This includes bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, and other identities outside of exclusive attraction.
Explanation:
The term serves as an umbrella for all people who do not experience attraction to only one gender. While bisexuality and pansexuality are the most common identities under this umbrella, non-monosexual also includes fluid or unlabeled individuals who acknowledge their attraction as non-exclusive.
Non-monosexual people may face “bi-erasure” or “pan-erasure,” where their identities are invalidated or simplified to fit a binary understanding (e.g., “just gay” or “just straight”). They also often face mistrust or stereotyping as being confused, promiscuous, or indecisive.
Respect and Language:
Affirm non-monosexual identities by avoiding binary assumptions or pressure to “choose a side.” Acknowledge the full range of their attractions, even if they are currently in a relationship with one gender.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
As awareness of sexual fluidity increases in Aotearoa, non-monosexual identities are becoming more widely acknowledged in education, health, and media. Promoting accurate representation helps fight stigma and foster inclusion.
Queerplatonic Relationship (QPR)
Definition:
A queerplatonic relationship is an intimate, committed partnership that is not romantic or sexual in nature but goes beyond what is traditionally considered friendship.
Explanation:
QPRs challenge the societal hierarchy that places romantic and sexual relationships above all others. They offer a deeply connected partnership based on mutual commitment, support, and often cohabitation or co-parenting. These relationships may include shared finances, future planning, or other elements typically associated with romantic couples—without romantic or sexual involvement.
QPRs are especially common among aromantic and asexual individuals but are open to anyone who feels that traditional friendship doesn’t fully capture their emotional connection. The term helps validate forms of love and partnership that exist outside the norms.
Respect and Language:
Respect QPRs as legitimate, valued relationships. Avoid questioning their “validity” compared to romantic or sexual bonds. Use the terminology that participants in the relationship prefer (e.g., partner, zucchini, life mate).
Cultural Note (NZ):
Though not widely recognised legally in Aotearoa, queerplatonic relationships are becoming more visible within LGBTQIA+ circles. Emphasising relationship diversity supports a more inclusive definition of family and partnership.
Aroflux
Definition:
Aroflux is a romantic orientation in which a person’s experience of romantic attraction fluctuates over time, particularly in how much attraction they feel or what kind they experience.
Explanation:
Someone who is aroflux may feel strongly aromantic (experiencing no romantic attraction) at one time, then later experience romantic attraction more intensely, or to different genders. These fluctuations may be unpredictable and vary in frequency or intensity.
Aroflux exists on the aromantic spectrum and can overlap with other identities such as demiromantic or greyromantic. The term offers language for those whose romantic orientation is not static and who need space to describe complex, changing feelings.
Respect and Language:
Avoid assuming that aroflux people are indecisive or going through a phase. Like all orientations, aroflux is valid and deserving of respect. Use inclusive and affirming language, and don’t expect people to explain or justify their changing experiences.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In New Zealand’s LGBTQIA+ communities, awareness of the aromantic spectrum is still growing. Including terms like aroflux in youth education and mental health resources ensures greater support for people with fluid orientations.
Sex Assigned at Birth (SAAB)
Definition:
Sex Assigned at Birth refers to the classification (typically male, female, or intersex) given to a newborn based on their external anatomy.
Explanation:
This assignment is made by medical professionals and recorded on official documents like birth certificates. However, sex assigned at birth does not determine gender identity. A person’s true gender may or may not align with this assigned sex.
For transgender and intersex individuals, the concept of SAAB helps distinguish between biological assumptions and actual identity. Using this term acknowledges that assigned sex is not destiny and provides respectful, non-pathologising language for discussing someone’s identity.
For example:
- “Alex is a trans woman assigned male at birth (AMAB).”
- “Jordan is non-binary and was assigned female at birth (AFAB).”
Respect and Language:
Use SAAB only when relevant and appropriate, especially in medical or educational contexts. Always prioritise a person’s self-identified gender over their assigned sex. Never ask about someone’s SAAB unless it is necessary and consented to.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, the distinction between SAAB and gender identity is increasingly recognised in inclusive healthcare, policy, and legal protections for transgender and non-binary people.
Skoliosexual
Definition:
Skoliosexual is a term describing a person who is primarily sexually attracted to individuals who are transgender, non-binary, or otherwise gender-diverse.
Explanation:
Skoliosexuality focuses on attraction to people whose gender identity falls outside the traditional male-female binary. This includes those who identify as genderqueer, agender, genderfluid, or non-binary, as well as transgender individuals. Skoliosexual people may or may not themselves be transgender or gender-diverse.
The term aims to express a specific type of attraction without fetishizing or objectifying trans and non-binary individuals. However, it’s important to use the term respectfully and not reduce people to their gender identity.
Skoliosexuality is sometimes misunderstood or considered controversial, often due to a lack of awareness or misuse. Still, for many, it provides a meaningful way to describe their orientation authentically.
Respect and Language:
Avoid using skoliosexuality as a fetish term. Always engage respectfully with the identities and autonomy of gender-diverse individuals. Focus on emotional, romantic, or sexual connection—not just novelty.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, conversations around skoliosexuality are still emerging within LGBTQIA+ circles. As understanding of gender diversity deepens, terms like this help people find more accurate and affirming ways to express who they are attracted to.
Cisnormativity
Definition:
Cisnormativity is the assumption that all people are cisgender—that is, that their gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth—and that this is the “default” or “normal.”
Explanation:
Cisnormativity influences how society is structured, from legal systems and healthcare to media representation and social interactions. It results in the invisibility or marginalisation of transgender and non-binary people. For example, gendered bathrooms, binary ID forms, and assumptions in medical practice often reflect cisnormative thinking.
Cisnormativity contributes to transphobia, by rendering other gender identities as unusual, problematic, or invalid. It also affects how institutions provide services, how policies are written, and how people are treated in daily life.
Challenging cisnormativity involves recognising gender diversity as normal and valuable, and making inclusive changes to accommodate all gender identities.
Respect and Language:
Avoid assuming gender based on appearance, name, or voice. Use gender-neutral language (e.g., “they,” “partner,” “people of all genders”) unless told otherwise. Respect chosen names and pronouns.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, work is underway to dismantle cisnormativity in education, healthcare, and public services. Many organisations now include gender-diverse options on forms, pronoun use in communication, and inclusive facilities.
Deadnaming
Definition:
Deadnaming is the act of referring to a transgender or non-binary person by the name they used before transitioning—usually the one given at birth.
Explanation:
This act can be deeply harmful, especially if done intentionally. It invalidates the person’s gender identity and may trigger feelings of dysphoria, anxiety, or trauma. In some cases, deadnaming can even out someone against their will, exposing them to discrimination or danger.
Transgender and non-binary people often choose new names that affirm their identity. Using this name consistently is an important form of respect and validation.
Even if done accidentally, deadnaming should be corrected immediately and without drawing attention. If someone changes their name, update records, habits, and communications accordingly.
Respect and Language:
Never ask someone what their “real” or “old” name was. Always use their current name and pronouns. If you make a mistake, apologise briefly and move on.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In New Zealand, efforts to respect chosen names are increasing in schools, workplaces, and health services. Some institutions are updating systems to allow preferred names on ID cards and documents, promoting dignity and inclusion.
Polysexual
Definition:
Polysexual refers to a person who is attracted to multiple genders, but not necessarily all genders.
Explanation:
Unlike pansexuality, which implies attraction regardless of gender, polysexuality acknowledges that a person may be attracted to many (but not all) gender identities. A polysexual individual may, for example, be attracted to men, women, and non-binary people, but not all non-binary variations or gender expressions.
Polysexuality exists under the bi+ and multisexual umbrella and celebrates the diversity of attraction without the expectation of inclusivity toward every gender. The identity allows people to describe their attractions more precisely and flexibly.
Respect and Language:
Avoid conflating polysexuality with promiscuity. Attraction to multiple genders does not imply lack of monogamy, nor does it need justification. Use affirming and accurate language.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
Polysexuality is increasingly recognised in Aotearoa’s queer spaces, particularly among younger generations. Education around the bi+ spectrum helps challenge erasure and encourages self-definition without pressure to conform to rigid labels.
Gender Dysphoria
Definition:
Gender dysphoria is the psychological distress or discomfort a person may experience when their gender identity does not align with the sex they were assigned at birth.
Explanation:
This distress can manifest emotionally, mentally, or physically. It might involve anxiety, depression, or a strong desire to change aspects of one’s body or presentation. Not all transgender or non-binary individuals experience gender dysphoria, but for those who do, it can significantly affect their wellbeing.
Medical and social transition—such as hormone therapy, surgery, name/pronoun change, or gender expression—can help alleviate gender dysphoria. Supportive environments also play a crucial role in improving outcomes.
In diagnostic contexts (e.g., for access to healthcare), “gender dysphoria” is used by professionals, but it should never be used to pathologise trans identities.
Respect and Language:
Avoid assuming someone is dysphoric or asking invasive questions about their body. Always affirm their identity and use appropriate, gender-inclusive language. Support access to affirming healthcare if needed.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In New Zealand, gender-affirming healthcare for people experiencing gender dysphoria is a growing area of focus. Access varies by region, but public and private providers are increasingly recognising the importance of inclusive, respectful care.
Greysexual
Definition:
Greysexual (or grey-asexual) describes individuals who experience sexual attraction rarely, infrequently, or only under specific circumstances.
Explanation:
Greysexuality exists on the asexual spectrum. People who identify as greysexual may occasionally feel sexual attraction, but not often enough to align with typical sexual identities. Their attraction might depend on emotional closeness, timing, specific people, or life phases. Some may engage in sexual activity, while others may not, based on comfort or personal boundaries.
This identity helps articulate the nuances between asexual and allosexual (experiencing regular sexual attraction) experiences. Greysexuality challenges the idea that sexuality is either “on” or “off,” allowing for fluidity and variation in desire.
Respect and Language:
Don’t assume that someone’s sexuality must be frequent or visible to be valid. Avoid phrases like “you just haven’t met the right person.” Use affirming language that honours individual experiences and self-definitions.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, greysexuality is becoming more visible through online education, peer-led initiatives, and youth networks. Inclusion of grey identities ensures that everyone on the asexual spectrum feels seen and supported.
ender Euphoria
Definition:
Gender euphoria is the joy, comfort, and affirmation a person feels when their gender identity is recognised, validated, or expressed authentically.
Explanation:
Often described as the opposite of gender dysphoria, gender euphoria occurs when an individual feels aligned with their gender—emotionally, socially, or physically. This can happen during moments like being correctly gendered by others, wearing affirming clothing, undergoing gender-affirming medical care, or seeing themselves represented in media.
Gender euphoria is a powerful experience that reinforces self-worth and identity. It also highlights that being transgender or gender-diverse isn’t solely about struggle or discomfort—there is also joy, pride, and celebration.
Respect and Language:
Celebrate moments of euphoria when someone shares them. Avoid diminishing their importance by focusing only on medical transition or challenges. Affirming people’s gender is not just about avoiding harm—it’s also about supporting wellbeing and happiness.
Cultural Note (NZ):
In Aotearoa, the celebration of gender euphoria is increasingly embraced in trans-positive education and community initiatives. Highlighting positive experiences contributes to more inclusive and supportive environments.
Omnisexual
Definition:
Omnisexual refers to a person who is romantically or sexually attracted to people of all genders, with gender being a relevant factor in that attraction.
Explanation:
Similar to pansexuality, omnisexuality involves attraction to more than one gender. However, while pansexuality often emphasises gender not being a factor in attraction, omnisexuality embraces gender as part of the attraction. For example, an omnisexual person might be attracted to different genders in different ways or appreciate unique gender qualities in partners.
Omnisexual people can have any gender identity themselves. This identity is a valid part of the bi+ umbrella, helping people who want to name their orientation in a way that acknowledges gender diversity without limitation.
Respect and Language:
Respect self-identification and avoid insisting on rigid comparisons between omnisexual and pansexual. Both are valid, and individuals may define them differently based on personal meaning.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
Though lesser known in New Zealand, omnisexuality is being increasingly included in educational resources and youth discussions about identity. Recognising these terms contributes to wider bi+ visibility.
Biological Sex
Definition:
Biological sex refers to the classification of people as male, female, or intersex based on physical characteristics such as chromosomes, hormones, reproductive anatomy, and secondary sex traits.
Explanation:
Biological sex is often assigned at birth, typically based on external genitalia. However, biological sex is more complex than a binary and includes a range of natural variations. For example, intersex people are born with sex characteristics that don’t fit typical definitions of male or female.
Importantly, biological sex is not the same as gender identity. A person’s true gender may or may not align with their assigned or observed biological sex. Conflating the two reinforces binary thinking and excludes trans, non-binary, and intersex experiences.
Respect and Language:
Avoid using biological sex as a justification for discrimination or invalidation of someone’s gender identity. Recognise that sex is diverse and that assigning it at birth can have lasting implications on identity and rights.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, advocacy for intersex and trans rights challenges rigid interpretations of biological sex. Legal and healthcare systems are evolving to support individuals beyond the binary.
LGBTQIA+ Inclusive Language
Definition:
Inclusive language refers to words and communication styles that affirm, respect, and recognise the diversity of sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures.
Explanation:
Using inclusive language involves avoiding assumptions about someone’s gender, pronouns, family structure, or sexual orientation. Examples include saying “partner” instead of “husband/wife,” using “they/them” pronouns if unsure, and avoiding gendered greetings like “ladies and gentlemen.”
Inclusive language also avoids slurs, stereotypes, or outdated terms. It empowers individuals by validating their identities and promoting equity in communication. It is particularly important in workplaces, schools, healthcare, and customer service.
Respect and Language:
Ask for and use someone’s pronouns. Update forms and systems to reflect diverse identities (e.g., options beyond “male/female”). Normalise asking for names and pronouns, rather than assuming.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In New Zealand, inclusive language is increasingly being adopted in government services, education, and business. It aligns with the values of manaakitanga (care and hospitality) and whanaungatanga (relationships) by fostering belonging and respect for all.
Pronouns
Definition:
Pronouns are words used to refer to someone in place of their name. In LGBTQIA+ contexts, pronouns reflect a person’s gender identity and should be used respectfully.
Explanation:
Common pronouns include:
- He/Him – often used by men
- She/Her – often used by women
- They/Them – often used by non-binary people or anyone who prefers gender-neutral language
- Neo-pronouns (e.g., ze/zir, xe/xem) – used by some gender-diverse individuals
Using correct pronouns is a basic way to affirm someone’s identity. Misusing or refusing to use someone’s correct pronouns can cause emotional harm and is considered a form of discrimination or harassment.
Many people include pronouns in email signatures, name badges, or introductions (e.g., “Hi, I’m Jordan, and my pronouns are they/them”). This practice normalises sharing pronouns and helps create inclusive environments.
Respect and Language:
Always use the pronouns someone asks for. If you’re unsure, politely ask or listen for how others refer to them. If you make a mistake, apologise briefly and correct yourself.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, awareness around pronouns is growing in schools, healthcare, and workplaces. Including pronouns in everyday interactions supports manaakitanga (care) and builds respectful, inclusive communities.
LGBTQIA+ Allyship in the Workplace
Definition:
Allyship in the workplace refers to the active support of LGBTQIA+ employees by colleagues, managers, and organisations to create safe, inclusive, and equitable environments.
Explanation:
Workplace allyship includes:
- Using inclusive language and correct pronouns
- Challenging discrimination, bias, or microaggressions
- Supporting inclusive policies (e.g., for transitioning employees)
- Celebrating Pride and recognising diverse identities
- Ensuring LGBTQIA+ people are represented in leadership and decision-making
Effective allyship goes beyond symbolic gestures. It involves ongoing education, accountability, and action to uplift queer voices and dismantle cisnormative or heteronormative systems.
LGBTQIA+ employees often face unique challenges such as fear of being outed, lack of access to inclusive health benefits, or workplace harassment. Allyship helps reduce these barriers and improves retention, wellbeing, and performance.
Respect and Language:
Create space for LGBTQIA+ colleagues to share feedback. Don’t assume, speak over, or co-opt their narratives. Offer support, listen actively, and advocate for inclusive change.
Cultural Note (NZ):
In New Zealand, many organisations—including government departments and large corporations—now have Rainbow inclusion policies. Programmes like the Rainbow Tick help businesses build inclusive cultures through training and assessment.
LGBTQIA+ Youth
Definition:
LGBTQIA+ youth are young people (typically under 25) who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, or other identities outside the cisgender and heterosexual norms.
Explanation:
Youth in this group often navigate a complex journey of self-discovery, coming out, and forming identity—all while dealing with social pressures, family expectations, and potential discrimination. They may face increased risks of mental health challenges, bullying, housing insecurity, and isolation.
Supportive environments, such as affirming schools, family acceptance, access to healthcare, and connection to peer networks, greatly improve outcomes for LGBTQIA+ youth.
Organisations, clubs, and helplines dedicated to queer youth play a critical role in fostering belonging and empowerment. Examples include RainbowYOUTH and InsideOUT in New Zealand.
Respect and Language:
Use inclusive and affirming language when addressing young people. Respect their chosen name, pronouns, and identity, and avoid dismissing their experiences as a “phase.”
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
Aotearoa leads several initiatives focused on Rainbow youth wellbeing, particularly through school partnerships, mental health services, and youth development programmes. These support Māori and Pasifika LGBTQIA+ youth within their cultural contexts.
Safe Space
Definition:
A safe space is an environment—physical, digital, or social—where LGBTQIA+ individuals can express themselves freely without fear of discrimination, judgment, or harm.
Explanation:
Safe spaces promote inclusion, respect, and support for diverse identities. They may be designated areas (e.g., school clubs, community centres) or informal groups where people feel accepted and affirmed. These spaces often have ground rules that encourage confidentiality, use of inclusive language, and active listening.
Safe spaces are particularly important for those navigating identity, experiencing marginalisation, or recovering from trauma. They enable people to build confidence, find community, and access resources without fear of hostility or rejection.
Creating safe spaces also involves challenging harmful behaviour, educating allies, and listening to the lived experiences of marginalised voices.
Respect and Language:
Do not mock, undermine, or dismiss the need for safe spaces. Respect the rules of the space, including use of pronouns, confidentiality, and cultural awareness. Everyone has a role in upholding the safety of the environment.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, safe spaces are a growing part of schools, universities, health services, and community groups. They reflect the values of manaakitanga (care) and aroha (love) essential to fostering wellbeing and inclusion for all.
Microaggressions
Definition:
Microaggressions are subtle, often unintentional, comments or actions that convey prejudice or reinforce stereotypes toward marginalised groups, including LGBTQIA+ individuals.
Explanation:
Microaggressions may appear harmless on the surface but can accumulate over time, causing emotional distress and reinforcing systemic discrimination. Examples in LGBTQIA+ contexts include:
- “You don’t look gay.”
- “What’s your real name?”
- Assuming someone’s partner is of the opposite gender
- Using incorrect pronouns, even after correction
These acts signal that LGBTQIA+ people are “different,” “less than,” or invisible. They often come from individuals who believe they are being inclusive or curious but lack awareness.
Respect and Language:
Listen when someone identifies a microaggression. Avoid defensiveness and aim to learn. Use inclusive language, ask questions respectfully, and acknowledge when harm has occurred, even unintentionally.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In New Zealand, addressing microaggressions is part of creating truly inclusive environments in workplaces, schools, and healthcare. Anti-bullying campaigns and Rainbow-inclusive training often highlight the impact of these subtle forms of bias.
Transition
Definition:
Transition refers to the process a transgender or gender-diverse person undertakes to live as their true gender identity. This may include social, medical, and/or legal changes.
Explanation:
Transition is highly individual and may involve:
- Social transition: Changing name, pronouns, appearance, or gender expression
- Medical transition: Hormone therapy, surgeries, or other treatments
- Legal transition: Updating gender markers on documents
Not all trans people will undergo every aspect of transition. Each journey is valid, and no single step makes someone “more” or “less” transgender.
Transition can greatly reduce gender dysphoria and increase wellbeing, confidence, and safety. It may also involve coming out, navigating relationships, and managing societal pressures.
Respect and Language:
Never ask intrusive questions about someone’s body, surgeries, or hormones. Respect a person’s privacy, use their correct name and pronouns, and affirm their identity throughout their journey.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, access to gender-affirming healthcare and legal recognition is improving, though barriers remain. The Ministry of Health and advocacy groups continue working to streamline support for those transitioning.
Intersex Rights
Definition:
Intersex rights refer to the legal, medical, and social protections needed to ensure the dignity, autonomy, and wellbeing of intersex individuals.
Explanation:
Intersex people are born with sex characteristics (chromosomes, hormones, genitalia) that do not fit typical binary definitions of male or female. Historically, many intersex infants and children have undergone non-consensual surgeries to “normalise” their bodies—a practice increasingly condemned as a human rights violation.
Intersex rights include:
- Bodily autonomy
- Access to accurate information and support
- Legal recognition beyond binary sex markers
- Protection from discrimination and medical harm
These rights affirm that intersex variations are natural and do not require medical “correction.”
Respect and Language:
Never ask invasive questions about someone’s body or anatomy. Use inclusive, affirming language, and support intersex-led advocacy.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
New Zealand has made progress on intersex rights, including efforts to ban unnecessary surgeries and expand legal recognition. Groups like Intersex Aotearoa and ITANZ are leading national awareness and support initiatives.
LGBTQIA+ Mental Health
Definition:
LGBTQIA+ mental health refers to the specific emotional and psychological wellbeing of people within the LGBTQIA+ community, shaped by social, cultural, and systemic factors.
Explanation:
While being LGBTQIA+ is not a mental illness, individuals may face higher risks of anxiety, depression, self-harm, or suicidality due to:
- Social stigma
- Discrimination
- Family rejection
- Bullying
- Lack of affirming healthcare or community
Supportive environments drastically reduce these risks. Access to culturally competent and affirming mental health services can improve resilience and wellbeing. Peer support, visibility, and representation also contribute positively.
Respect and Language:
Don’t assume mental health struggles are caused by someone’s identity—they are more often a result of how society treats them. Be sensitive, affirming, and nonjudgmental. Respect confidentiality and individual boundaries.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
Aotearoa has multiple LGBTQIA+-affirming mental health resources, including services like RainbowYOUTH, OUTLine, and InsideOUT. These organisations work to fill gaps in mainstream mental health care and support youth in particular.
Queerbaiting
Definition:
Queerbaiting is the practice of hinting at or implying LGBTQIA+ representation in media to attract queer audiences—without actually confirming or developing it meaningfully.
Explanation:
Often used in television, film, books, or marketing, queerbaiting involves suggestive dialogue, character interactions, or promotional content that teases same-sex romance or LGBTQIA+ identity—but never follows through. It exploits queer viewers’ desire for representation while appeasing conservative audiences who may reject overt queerness.
Examples include same-gender characters with intense chemistry who are never shown in a relationship or being coy about a character’s identity to maintain marketability.
Respect and Language:
Demand authentic representation from creators and call out harmful tropes. Support media that uplifts LGBTQIA+ voices and stories told by queer people themselves.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
Queerbaiting is widely criticised by New Zealand’s Rainbow community, especially among youth and creatives. As Aotearoa’s film and media landscape grows more inclusive, queer audiences continue to push for authentic, honest storytelling that reflects their lived experiences.
Bigender
Definition:
Bigender describes someone who identifies as two genders, either simultaneously or alternating between them. These genders may be binary (male and female) or non-binary (e.g., agender and genderfluid).
Explanation:
Bigender people experience two distinct gender identities. Some feel both at the same time, while others shift between them over time. The frequency and intensity of these shifts can vary by individual. Bigender individuals may change their name, pronouns, clothing, or behavior depending on which gender they identify with at any given time.
Bigender is a valid identity under the non-binary umbrella. It’s different from being genderfluid, though the two may overlap—genderfluidity refers to change over time across any point in the gender spectrum, while bigender typically centers on two core identities.
Respect and Language:
Use the name and pronouns someone shares at any given time. Don’t assume that bigender people are confused or going through a phase. Like all gender identities, it’s deeply personal and valid.
Gynosexual
Definition:
Gynosexuality is sexual or romantic attraction to femininity or people who identify as female, regardless of the person’s own gender.
Explanation:
Gynosexual people may be attracted to women, feminine-presenting non-binary people, or others who embody femininity. The identity focuses on the qualities of femininity rather than binary gender categories. This term is inclusive of people who don’t identify strictly as lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual but still feel drawn to feminine traits.
Respect and Language:
Gynosexuality is part of a growing vocabulary that gives people more accurate ways to describe their attraction. Avoid assuming it refers only to cisgender women or equating it with lesbianism.
Androsexual
Definition:
Androsexual refers to sexual or romantic attraction to masculinity or people who identify as male, regardless of the person’s own gender.
Explanation:
Androsexual people may be attracted to men, masculine-presenting non-binary individuals, or anyone who expresses masculine energy. The term emphasizes attraction to masculinity, not necessarily to the male gender itself. It allows people of any gender to describe attraction without aligning to binary orientation labels.
Respect and Language:
This identity should not be confused with gay or straight—androsexuality reflects attraction to traits, not rigid gender identities.
Neopronouns
Definition:
Neopronouns are gender-neutral or non-traditional pronouns used by some non-binary, genderqueer, or gender-diverse individuals. Examples include ze/zir, xe/xem, and ey/em.
Explanation:
These pronouns are alternatives to “he,” “she,” or “they,” and provide individuals with more accurate ways to express their gender. Neopronouns help disrupt gender norms and allow for broader gender representation. While not widely used in mainstream language, they are increasingly seen in queer communities and inclusive spaces.
Respect and Language:
If someone uses neopronouns, respect them as you would any pronoun. Practice until comfortable, and don’t mock or dismiss unfamiliar words. Pronoun respect is basic dignity.
Gender Expansive
Definition:
Gender expansive describes people whose gender identity or expression goes beyond traditional gender norms or binaries.
Explanation:
This term can include those who identify as non-binary, genderqueer, or genderfluid, but also anyone who expresses gender in ways that are broader or more creative than what society typically expects. Gender expansive is often used in education and healthcare to describe inclusive policies that accommodate all gender identities.
Respect and Language:
Avoid framing gender expansive individuals as “too much” or “unusual.” Instead, embrace their identity as valid and vibrant. Use inclusive language and avoid assumptions.
Internalised Transphobia
Definition:
Internalised transphobia occurs when transgender or gender-diverse people absorb negative societal messages about their identity, leading to shame, denial, or self-hatred.
Explanation:
Just as people can internalise racism or homophobia, trans people may struggle with accepting themselves due to messages that trans identities are abnormal or undesirable. This may delay coming out, fuel depression, or contribute to rejecting one’s own needs (e.g., for transition or community support).
Respect and Language:
Offer compassion and affirm people as they work through internalised transphobia. Representation, support, and safe spaces can help individuals unlearn harmful beliefs.
Homonormativity
Definition:
Homonormativity is the assumption that LGBTQIA+ people should conform to heteronormative standards, such as monogamy, marriage, gender roles, and traditional family structures.
Explanation:
This mindset values queer people who appear “normal” or “just like straight people,” often marginalising those who don’t fit that mold (e.g., polyamorous people, trans folks, drag artists, etc.). While it can improve acceptance for some, it also excludes those who live outside of mainstream norms.
Respect and Language:
Recognise the full diversity of queer lives and challenge the idea that conformity equals acceptance. Celebrate expressions of queerness that challenge rather than mimic heteronormative standards.
Lateral Discrimination
Definition:
Lateral discrimination is prejudice or exclusion that occurs within the LGBTQIA+ community, such as racism, transphobia, biphobia, or ableism among queer individuals.
Explanation:
While the LGBTQIA+ movement promotes unity, power imbalances exist. For example, white cisgender gay men may experience privilege that trans women of colour do not. Lateral discrimination prevents full community inclusion and often replicates systemic issues (e.g., sexism or colonisation) within Rainbow spaces.
Respect and Language:
Be mindful of intersectionality. Support marginalised voices within the queer community and advocate for spaces that are inclusive for all identities, not just the most visible or accepted.
Spectrasexual
Definition:
Spectrasexual refers to someone who is attracted to multiple genders across a wide spectrum, with the attraction varying in intensity, type, or frequency.
Explanation:
The term recognises that attraction can span a continuum, and that someone might be drawn to different genders in different ways. Spectrasexuality overlaps with terms like bisexual and pansexual but emphasises the fluid, diverse, and non-binary nature of attraction.
Respect and Language:
Validate spectrasexual identities as distinct, not just “confused” or indecisive. Respect the complexity of their experiences and how they describe them.
Third Gender
Definition:
Third gender is a term used in some cultures to describe people who do not identify as male or female, but as a separate, recognised gender category.
Explanation:
In many societies—including in South Asia (e.g., hijra), Indigenous North America (e.g., Two-Spirit), and Polynesia—third-gender people have held ceremonial, spiritual, or cultural roles. It challenges Western gender binaries by validating identities outside male/female frameworks.
Respect and Language:
Respect cultural specificity. Don’t appropriate third-gender terms from cultures you don’t belong to. Instead, acknowledge and support global gender diversity respectfully.
Masculine of Centre / Feminine of Centre
Definition:
“Masculine of centre” and “feminine of centre” describe people whose gender expression leans toward masculinity or femininity, respectively, but who may not identify strictly with a binary gender.
Explanation:
These terms allow for nuanced descriptions of gender presentation, especially among non-binary, genderqueer, and LGBTQIA+ individuals. Someone might identify as non-binary and still be masculine of centre in how they dress or behave. This framework supports a spectrum of gender expression.
Respect and Language:
Don’t assume identity based on looks. These terms reflect presentation—not necessarily gender identity or sexual orientation.
Pronoun Rounds / Name Rounds
Definition:
Pronoun rounds or name rounds are practices where individuals introduce themselves by sharing their name and pronouns, commonly used in queer-inclusive and community spaces.
Explanation:
This practice normalises asking and using correct pronouns and helps create safe, affirming environments. It prevents misgendering and avoids singling out trans or non-binary people. Examples include saying: “Hi, I’m Mika, and I use they/them pronouns.”
Respect and Language:
Don’t force anyone to share pronouns—but model inclusion by doing so yourself. If someone declines to share, respect their privacy.
Allyship in Education / Healthcare
Definition:
Allyship in education and healthcare refers to the active support of LGBTQIA+ students or patients through inclusive practices, policies, and environments.
Explanation:
In education, this includes using chosen names, ensuring curriculum inclusivity, supporting gender-neutral facilities, and fostering student wellbeing.
In healthcare, allyship includes respecting pronouns, understanding queer health needs, providing affirming care, and protecting patient privacy.
Respect and Language:
Educators and health providers must avoid assumptions and listen to lived experiences. Building trust with LGBTQIA+ individuals starts with respect, safety, and affirmation.
Chosen Pronouns
Definition:
Chosen pronouns are the pronouns a person selects that best reflect their gender identity.
Explanation:
Pronouns are part of how we refer to others in conversation (e.g., he/him, she/her, they/them). Chosen pronouns are not optional—they are an essential part of respecting someone’s identity. For transgender, non-binary, and gender-diverse individuals, using the correct pronouns affirms their existence and avoids misgendering, which can be harmful.
Using chosen pronouns helps foster inclusivity in workplaces, classrooms, and communities. Many people now include pronouns in email signatures or introductions to normalise the practice.
Respect and Language:
Always ask and use someone’s correct pronouns. If you make a mistake, apologise briefly, correct yourself, and move on respectfully.
Stealth (Trans Context)
Definition:
“Stealth” refers to a transgender person who does not disclose their trans status in daily life and is perceived by others as cisgender.
Explanation:
Being stealth can be a survival tactic or a personal choice. Some trans people go stealth to avoid discrimination, protect privacy, or simply because they do not feel the need to disclose their history. Others prefer to be open about their trans identity as part of advocacy or self-expression.
Neither path is more valid. Going stealth can be empowering for some and limiting for others. It is deeply individual.
Respect and Language:
Never disclose or question someone’s trans status without permission. Outing a stealth trans person can lead to serious harm.
QTBIPOC
Definition:
QTBIPOC stands for Queer and Trans Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour.
Explanation:
This term recognises the intersecting experiences of racism, colonisation, and queerphobia. QTBIPOC individuals often face marginalisation not only outside the LGBTQIA+ community but also within it, where white or cis-centric narratives dominate.
QTBIPOC voices are critical to the queer liberation movement and bring lived experience that includes resistance, cultural survival, and visionary leadership.
Respect and Language:
Elevate QTBIPOC voices, challenge racism within queer spaces, and centre equity in allyship.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
In Aotearoa, QTBIPOC includes Māori, Pasifika, and migrant communities. Honouring takatāpui, fa’afafine, and other Indigenous identities is essential to Rainbow justice.
Gender-Affirming Healthcare
Definition:
Gender-affirming healthcare includes medical, psychological, and social services that support a person’s gender identity.
Explanation:
This care can include hormone therapy, surgeries, counselling, voice training, puberty blockers, or even simply respectful interactions with healthcare providers. It is tailored to each individual’s needs and goals and may not involve all medical options.
Gender-affirming care is associated with significantly improved mental health and wellbeing for transgender and non-binary individuals.
Respect and Language:
Always use inclusive language in healthcare settings. Ask patients their pronouns, affirm their names, and never assume needs based on appearance.
Cultural Relevance (NZ):
Access to gender-affirming care in New Zealand is improving but remains uneven. Waitlists, lack of provider training, and geographic disparity remain barriers for many.
Aegosexual / Autochorissexual
Definition:
Aegosexual (also known as autochorissexual) refers to someone who experiences sexual fantasies or arousal without the desire to be an active participant.
Explanation:
People with this orientation may enjoy sexual content or thoughts but do not wish to engage in sexual activity themselves. It is often placed on the asexual spectrum and challenges conventional ideas about desire.
Aegosexual individuals may be misunderstood as disinterested in sex entirely, but their experience is distinct and valid.
Respect and Language:
Don’t dismiss aegosexuality as repressed or broken. Avoid assumptions about someone’s private life based on fantasy or media consumption.
Binder / Binding
Definition:
Binding is the practice of compressing the chest to reduce the appearance of breasts, often done by transgender men, non-binary individuals, or gender-diverse people.
Explanation:
Binders are garments specifically designed to flatten the chest safely. Other methods, such as sports bras or layering, are sometimes used when binders are inaccessible. Binding can reduce dysphoria and help individuals feel more aligned with their gender identity.
However, binding can carry health risks if done unsafely, such as difficulty breathing or skin irritation. Proper binder use includes limiting daily hours and taking rest days.
Respect and Language:
Never comment on someone’s chest or question if they’re binding. Respect people’s privacy and bodily autonomy.
Ze / Zir Pronouns
Definition:
Ze/zir are examples of neopronouns used by some gender-diverse individuals instead of “he” or “she.”
Explanation:
Used like this:
- “Ze is going to the store.”
- “I gave the book to zir.”
These pronouns provide a gender-neutral option for those who don’t identify with “they” or want pronouns that better fit their experience. Pronoun choice is deeply personal and reflects a person’s right to self-identify.
Respect and Language:
Practice and use neopronouns correctly. Never ridicule or dismiss someone’s pronouns as “too hard” or “made up”—language evolves, and respect is non-negotiable.
Out and Proud
Definition:
“Out and proud” refers to LGBTQIA+ individuals who openly embrace and express their identities with confidence and without shame.
Explanation:
Coming out is one step; being out and proud goes further—it’s about living authentically, challenging stigma, and often becoming a role model or advocate. It’s a celebration of identity, self-love, and resilience.
Not all LGBTQIA+ people choose or are able to be out and proud. For those who are, it’s a powerful act of resistance and visibility.
Respect and Language:
Celebrate those who are out and proud, but never pressure someone to be out if it’s unsafe. Visibility is a personal choice, not a requirement.
Gender Non-Conforming
Definition:
Gender non-conforming (GNC) describes people whose gender expression does not align with societal expectations of their assigned sex.
Explanation:
GNC individuals may not identify as transgender or non-binary. They may be cisgender but express themselves through clothing, behavior, or style in ways considered non-traditional. For example, a man who wears makeup or a woman who dresses in masculine clothing may be GNC.
GNC is about presentation, not identity. However, GNC individuals often face the same stigma or violence directed at trans or queer people due to their perceived difference.
Respect and Language:
Avoid judging others based on how “masculine” or “feminine” they appear. Support people in expressing themselves authentically.
LGBTQIA+ Elders
Definition:
LGBTQIA+ elders are older members of the Rainbow community who have lived through periods of intense discrimination and social change, often paving the way for the rights and visibility others benefit from today.
Explanation:
Many LGBTQIA+ elders faced criminalisation, forced medical treatment, and loss of family or employment. Despite this, they often contributed to building communities, organising protests, and advocating for change.
Today, elders may experience isolation or lack of inclusive aged care services. Celebrating their legacy and ensuring continued care is vital.
Respect and Language:
Recognise the resilience and wisdom of LGBTQIA+ elders. Advocate for elder-inclusive policy and community spaces. Oral histories and intergenerational connection are key parts of preserving Rainbow history.
Rainbow Community
Definition:
“Rainbow community” is a broad, inclusive term used in Aotearoa New Zealand to refer to people of diverse sexual orientations, gender identities, and sex characteristics—often as a localised alternative to LGBTQIA+.
Explanation:
Unlike acronyms, “Rainbow community” is a holistic and culturally relevant phrase that recognises the diversity and intersectionality of queer experiences. It includes identities such as takatāpui, fa’afafine, akava’ine, transgender, intersex, asexual, and many others. The term also acknowledges families, allies, and groups advocating for inclusion and wellbeing.
It’s widely used in schools, government, healthcare, and media throughout New Zealand, helping shift focus from labels to community connection.
Respect and Language:
Use “Rainbow community” as an affirming, umbrella term when addressing or referring to LGBTQIA+ populations in inclusive or public contexts. It can be especially useful when working with younger audiences or across cultural groups.
